The time has come again, and yet another night

-of dreams and wishes-

Gone and went.

What could I have hoped too see? Hoped to obtain?

Twenty years… learning, searching…waiting.

But of life, nothing.

I know nothing at all.

Sitting here, dreaming of starlit skies, fiery showers… and

Pools of fragile moonlight.

Stringing word upon word like pearls in an ornate necklace,

Adorned with clichéd themes of love

Whispered over and over-

In that unknown chant, trying to persuade myself that I know anything about it at all.

As a fabled traveler walks, searching for the perfect view of the autumn full moon.

When we reach it- what then?

That meteor shower I yearn to see...

When I see it, what then?

Perhaps it is not time after all.

The gentle caress, the warmth of light that strikes and stirs the soul

That moves…quivering-

A single moment of understanding we all seek.

My happy ending is shrouded in misty clouds

Far, far from sight.

I am a mere strand of grass among an ocean of growing green waves

That bend right and left

To the wind’s desires.

And yet…

I could not help…but dream.

Today I look not above-

But within me, to realize that I am not alone.

To those and all around-

Everyone.

Everyone.

Everyone.

I’m sorry for how uncaring I’ve been,

The words I could have said

Support I should have given

Time I should have spent

With you

And you

And you.

Now all I can say is this-



You mean a lot to me.
Thank you for existing.

If you could stay anywhere, anywhere in the world….where would you choose to be?

-------------

The princess had a dream.

And in it, she was in love.

Wishfully, wistfully in love…

With someone who’s hands are just out of reach.

In love

With a figure she could only see in her mind;

Who’s presence preoccupied her every thought

Between the moments of sleep and wake.

Sometimes she wondered if what she called reality was just a dream after all

While the dream was instead real.

Slowly, you become the definition of my reality.

Then one day

The dream ended.

And the truth crashed down upon her

That maybe…

Maybe it was too good to be true after all.

Maybe love didn’t exist, and dreams should forever remain dreams.

Yet unable to deny that ache within her heart,

The princess swore to find that person no matter how long it took.

She came up with a message

To which only one person would know the reply that she sought

And asked the wind to repeat it

Saying the words over and over

As it blew near and far.

------

Time slowly passed

…Memories became faint

While forgotten promises fell like petals after rain.

Perhaps the person heard it

And found her.

Perhaps they didn’t…

And the princess died alone.

Yet true to its promise

The wind kept repeating the words

If you could stay anywhere, anywhere in the world….where would you choose to be?

Until one day,

When spring and summer had long past

The first autumn leaf heard the wind’s whispered words.

With a quick goodbye to its mother tree the leaf flew,

Far, far and still further…

With the wind leading the way.

Why, I’d want to be with you, of course.

In that place, of that time

To that world where dreams of “you” and “me”

Are forever.

----------

End.

Ah….

But not everyone can live in a fairy tale, ne?

Not everyone has wind under their command.

So let us rewrite the story…

Not once upon a time

But in the here and now…

There is a common maiden.

And the girl also had a dream.

----------

Where would I choose to be?

I see lights

A pale white bulb attached to the wall

The glow reflected by the sink-

No, no need for chandeliers.

(I can see you in my heart even if I close my eyes hehe)

I taste soup

The flavor of beef and spices still lingering from dinner.

No, no fancy menus-

Just one large bowl of soup noodles, split into two.

(You can have the bigger portion~~)

I smell soap

The distinct scent of lavender soap-

$1.99 a bottle.

(Your hands might be dry if you use it too much, so I’ll wash the dishes instead<3)

I hear splashing

Scrubbing.

A sponge dripping wet.

I feel water

Running through my hands.

I feel the smoothness of clean bowls and pans…

I feel content after a full dinner.

But most importantly,

I feel you

Standing close to me.

----

Where I want to be?

My dream is of dirty dishes…

Dinner together…

And a pair of used chopsticks placed side by side.

Yours, and mine.

They say…

They say that the night blooming cereus was originally a young maiden

…that love made her distant;

always looking far away, waiting for something.

They say she turned into a flower when she died.

And even then, her secret vanished with her.

The flower would only bloom at midnight, revealing its heart to the moon as everyone sleeps.

----------

A smile, as fragile as morning dew.

Life that is just as transient.

Was it the gardener?

The artist…

The writer…?

Those who truly understand beauty

And the color of petals, blooming in the darkest of nights…

Is that who she was in love with?

Or maybe a Prince…from a far away land.

No, no!

That couldn’t be all there is to it.

Maybe she was born reticent.

Or really, really shy…

Or maybe she just preferred to be alone.

But wait.

Who wouldn’t want to have friends?

She’s probably waiting…

Waiting for someone to approach her.

Perhaps she was just lonely.

Maybe she was keeping her secret from an evil presence, threatening to destroy the world.

Or an explanation, as to why the sky cries in winter.

Why candles blink thrice before giving out…

Why we shed tears during sad movies

Every

Single

Time.

Then again…

Hers could be a story that was only meaningful to those who knew her.

Nothing special,

But a story depends on the person interpreting it, ne?

What do we see?

If we were her, what would we have wanted to say?

Perhaps….there is no story at all,

But this…

/I know not how much time we have together

How long is the life of a flower, anyway?

Still…

For as long as I am here,

You are here

Teach me who you are.

What are your interests?

How does it feel when we are side by side?

Write with me a story

That we will forever remember.

And so….

So that

No matter how many times my petals wilt and fade

I’ll be able to find you once more./

Perhaps the Cereus flower had a secret after all.

A loved One.

A normal person.

Yet no writer or artist or prince can compare…

You know how some people call the person they love… “Little egg”?

Because with eggs, you have to be careful with them.

Make sure they don’t break.

/If your heart was an egg…

Then I’ll do all I can to keep it warm.

I’ll keep it safe

And hold the treasure inside precious to me

Until that day it hatches,

Then…

I’ll kiss you, and tell you

I love you./

---------

They say it was all just a dream, of a flower that once thought it was human.

And why not?

As flowers love,

Humans do too.

And for flowers

If you talk to them

Show them you care

…they’ll bloom all the more wonderfully

Under that secret you two will share.

I’ve thought for a long time.

Maybe I shouldn’t write this here. Maybe…really…I shouldn’t have written this here. I say too many rambly things. I shouldn’t put this in a journal and trouble people in reading it. And what I say is probably insignificant.

Should I reply to the kind words everyone had sent me instead? Should I come back to DA? Should I…

Is it…too late?

I don’t really know.

I say all of these things…that I’m sorry, that I wanted to do something more than just say sorry…yet, I can never do it, ne?

Ah…hmmm…

But then, you all deserve a proper apology from Furu. I don’t want to just disappear without saying anything, because despite my absence, despite Furu being bad Furu and not saying anything…everyone here does mean a lot to Furu. So I hope it’s okay for me to be rambly…just once more.

*bows*

I’m sorry for disappearing and not replying to anyone for so long.

I’m sorry to say, too…that I probably won’t be able to reply to anything much now, either. There are ah…some rl things I need to do and somewhere I need to go, also…so there is a chance that I might permanently disappear from DA and other online places (*will say something if I do leave though*, no worries of Furu permanently disappearing without saying anything).

But I’m still here right now though. At least for a short time. And Furu still thinks of everyone lotslots. If I can, every now and then, I’ll come back to share a story I’ve written, or a picture of noodles…or something. (Eh…I think we can upload photos here, ne?)

I have read what everyone says, too. I read and re-read your words…many, many times- and even if I’ve never said it to you personally…Furu thanks you for what you have written to me (in the journal comments, the deviation comments, and the wall-comment-thingies). Furu thanks you for adding me to your friend’s list, and for favorite-ing some of my writings, too. (<_< *has read your journals and seen your deviations, too* >_> though, again…*is sorry for not saying anything there on how wonderful they all are*)

Furu doesn’t reply to anything because…ah…you see…I’ve been…not myself lately. Things happen. Lots of things happen…and I am affected by them. Sometimes…not in a really good way, and I have to disappear for a while.

I’ll try to go to your DA pages and say hi sometime, though (<_< so don’t be surprised if you see a random Furu-hello and many months late reply on your wall-comment-thingy or a comment on your wonderful deviations either. >_> I hope you don’t mind).

Just…ah…I don’t think I’ll be able to reply or say thank you or anything muchmuch.

Furu is very sorry. *bows again* (>: sorry for the bad journal, too. >_> *doesn't know how to write journals*)

<_< and before ending journal…I have to say, I hope you are all doing well. See you sometime, ne?

Take care.

Ah.

It has been a long time, ne?

I’m sorry I haven’t been online that much. (...and I probably won't be online much now, either) >: *wonders…if I reply to everyone with a 2-3 months late reply, would it still be okay?* x_x…hmmm….or maybe that’s a bad idea…x_x…

<_< *writes a journal for apologizing to everyone at once instead?*

Ne. How is everyone? I hope everything has been going well for all of you.

(hmm…or maybe I should write a comment to say hello on the Devious comments-thingy in your journals instead? @_@ *is clueless and not sure of what to do*)

>_> *doesn’t know what else to say here so ends journal*

(Oh! Ah, and thank you for everyone who has left replies on Furu’s wall/Devious/comments-thingy, previous journal, writing deviations, and added me in your watch-list thingy <_< --> not sure what to call those either)